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[Dec. 31st, 2011|11:46 pm] |
I wish I could suppress these feelings right now.
What are they?
Sadness, anger, love, hate, confusion, EVERYTHING.
To be ending the most horrible year of my life LIKE THIS and to be starting a new year with all this in mind is just truly devastating.
So much to reflect back on about this year. This one hell of a fucked up year.
I'm shaking with so many emotions right now; my tummy aches and I'm covered in goosebumps.
My eyes are welling up with tears. Fat droplets spilling onto the table.
Perhaps I should go for a walk, alone.
That most certainly will make me feel better.
With the wind in my face and darkness around, it'll be easier to cry my heart out.
ANYWAY, let's have a look at the resolutions I had made for this year. (copied directly from the 2011 new year's blog post)
-Be PUNCTUAL! AHAHHAHAHAHA.
-Stop procrastinating
-Step out of my comfort zone even more than I did in 2010
-Prioritise well
-Work hard, play harder (okay i think i do this all the time. but i play too hard and don't work hard at all :|)
-Follow my heart
-Above all, just have fun and be happy cause as cliche as it is, life is way too short to be wasting any moment sulking away or doing something you're not happy doing.
I most definitely am more punctual now, I still procrastinate but to a smaller degree I'm hoping, I've stepped out of my comfort zone more, I prioritized better but not good enough, I definitely worked hard and played hard, I didn't always follow my heart. And lastly and sadly, I didn't have a lot of fun and wasn't very happy. It was the worst year of my life so far and I really hope it REMAINS that way. I don't ever want a year being worse than this year. It was truly horrible and I DO NOT want to relive it.
My resolutions for 2012 would be:
-As always, don't procrastinate (this seems to be on my list EVERY YEAR)
-Prioritize better
-Make some dreams happen!
-Think wisely but at the same time, follow my heart when needed. Make RATIONAL decisions at ALL times
-Find myself. The bubbly girl I once was.
-Get my happiness and smile back
-Spend time with family and friends and make sure my loved ones know how much I truly love and appreciate them.
Alright, I have some cheesy or weird resolutions but ah well.
Okay time to go off for my walk, just in time for fireworks.
I feel so nauseous, I think I'm gonna puke and cry at the same time.
This rollercoaster ride of emotions is killing me.
ANYWAY.....
HAPPY 2012 EVERYONE!
HAVE A GREAT YEARRRRRR<3 |
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